Did you know that one in every four women will experience domestic abuse? You might think that it’s only happening to older men or women, but that’s not true. There are a lot of problems that go on every day even at the age of 11. If you think you’re getting abused, it may be hard to tear yourself away from it. Sometimes it’s even hard to say if you’re getting abused. But, if you’re questioning it, chances are that you’re right. It’s a serious thing, and it may make you think negatively towards yourself, or life. But there are ways to get you through it, and out of it.

So what is abuse? Only half of all Tweens (age 11-14) claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship. But, there are many types of abuse, and they range from Verbal, Physical, Psychological, and Emotional. And it is any type of cruel or violence treatment that is unwanted. When an anonymous student at LCHS was asked what they thought abuse was he said, “anything that makes you feel bad about yourself, like you’re worthless or like you don’t know what you’re talking about.” So if any of these can apply to you, there are steps you can take to help yourself.

Physical abuse is the obvious one. When you’re being hit or punched. But what about the other things? More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse. Things that seem simple like, calling you stupid, worthless, or ugly. Well, they’re not simple. And if that is something that is bothering you, you can give yourself a voice. All you need to do is recognize what is happening, and explain to your other that it doesn’t feel good. Perhaps take up some counseling. It may not be easy, but talking is key to a healthy relationship. Just remember that you are worth something, and find friends who know that and help you along the way.

Psychological abuse is something that also happens. It can range from your significant other isolating you from family and friends, to making threats against you or playing mind games. One mind game is threatening to kill themselves to keep you with them. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up. This may make you feel like you’re forced into staying in a relationship you’re not happy in. You may feel like a bad person for making them feel this way. Always remember that your feelings do matter, and if you’re not happy than the relationship isn’t happy anyway. It is okay if you think your feelings should come first.

Realizing that this is happening to you is the first step. When another anonymous student at LCHS was asked if any of these had happened. She answered “Actually most of that has happened. It was in a past relationship, and it lasted for too long. I wish I knew I was better than that earlier.” And she brings up a good point. Remember that you do deserve to be happy, and it is not your fault. Find a friend to speak to, and build strength. Remember that there is a way out.